Who Believed in You Before You Believed in Yourself?
Why self-belief is the missing link to unlocking your potential—and how to activate your remarkable, even when doubt creeps in.
A few years ago, my wonderful husband Justin gave me a small gift. The flipbook you see pictured here, with a simple message on the cover:
“She believed she could, so she did.”
It was thoughtful. Encouraging and sweet. But here’s what made it powerful:
He gave it to me twice.
Not because he really loved the book (although he knew I would) …but because he forgot he had already given it to me.
And honestly? I’m so glad he did. Because the first time he gave it to me, I needed it.
The second time… I understood it.
Before the Proof
The first time I received that gift was in 2015.
I had just gone back into corporate America. Had my own public relations firm for over a decade and had become a certified executive coach. With my passion for recognizing people and activating a remarkable workplace, I knew it made sense to work within a corporate environment instead of as a consultant on a short-term assignment.
Sure, I had the right credentials for the role. But if I’m being honest?
I was still questioning myself.
I hadn’t done two TEDx talks yet.
I hadn’t written Free and Clear.
I hadn’t built a keynote speaking business alongside my corporate career.
All of that was still inside me, but not fully activated.
And then there was this moment—this quiet but powerful signal:
Someone else believed I could do more.
That belief landed. Because sometimes, before we fully believe in ourselves,
we borrow belief from someone else.
The Shift
Years later, when he gave me that same gift again, everything felt different.
Not because the message changed.But because I had.
I had taken steps towards my mission of helping people activate their full potential.
I had built confidence in my corporate job, and got promoted to Chief Communications Officer. Fleeting thoughts about imposter syndrome – did I belong here? Was I making a big impact? – dissipated.
And that’s when it hit me: Belief isn’t just a feeling. It’s a decision you reinforce through action.
Why Belief Is the Starting Point of Remarkable
In my Activate Your Remarkable work, I’ve found something surprising:
The biggest barrier isn’t capability. It’s self-perception.
We don’t step into what we’re capable of…because we don’t fully believe we are capable.
And when belief is shaky:
- We hesitate
- We hold back
- We wait to be chosen
But when belief strengthens? Everything shifts.
You speak up. You go for the opportunity that used to seem out of reach. You expand what you think is possible.
How to Strengthen Your Self-Belief (Even When It Feels Wobbly)
Want some good news? You don’t have to wait for self-confidence to magically appear. Instead, you can intentionally bolster your belief in yourself.
Here are a few ways to start:
- See Yourself Through Someone Else’s Eyes
Think about someone who believes in you. What do they see – a skill or a capability – that you might be minimizing? Instead of deflecting it, give it credibility.
- Name Your “Pillar of Strength”
In Free and Clear, I shared one of the hardest times in my life. I had a full-blown quarter-life crisis at age 25. The corporate job that I loved ended when the company was acquired. I was in a bad romantic relationship. Obese, frustrated and constantly tired, my self-esteem was non-existent.
I remember picking up a journal gifted to me and asked myself a question. What do I feel good about when it comes to myself? At that low point, I could only identify one thing I felt confident in: public speaking.
I competed nationally in extemporaneous speaking and oratory in my academic career, and it helped me stand out at work. That one strength became a foundation. And here’s what I realized:
You don’t need 10 strengths to believe in yourself. You need one you’re willing to claim.
- Borrow Belief—But Don’t Leave It There
It’s okay if your belief starts externally. Maybe it’s from a mentor, a partner or a friend. But over time, the goal is to internalize it.
Ask yourself: What would it look like if I believed this about myself too?
- Take One Aligned Action
Belief grows through evidence. Not giant leaps—but small, consistent steps.
Every time you act in alignment with who you could be, you reinforce that identity.
- Challenge the Old Narrative
Some of the loudest voices in our heads, aren’t even ours.
They’re outdated, inherited or simply untrue. You get to decide: Does this belief still serve me?
And if it doesn’t, let go of it. I remember during middle school always been picked last for volleyball. Wasn’t an active kid and prided myself on being more of the class clown type. It stung though when no one wanted me on their teams, though I kind of didn’t blame them given the lack of hand-eye coordination.
But when I started exercising back in 1992, I had to let go of that voice in my head that said I was a couch potato. After a few months of regularly going to the gym – and seeing myself grow stronger and healthier – I did.
Now, I define myself as an active person. I plan to exercise wherever I’m traveling in the world. I happily get up most days way before dawn to lift weights, or take a spin class or do something that gets my endorphins pumping before I show up for work in the morning.
A Question for You
Think about your own life for a moment.
Who has believed in you—sometimes more than you believed in yourself?
And… where might you still be holding back from fully believing it too?
I’d love to hear your story—drop it in the comments.
Because here’s the truth:
Belief is contagious. And you never know who needs to borrow yours today.