Super Connectors: How to Build Influence by Bringing Others Together

Sure, Superman could jump over a tall building in a single bound, Wonder Woman rocked bullet repelling bracelets while wielding the lasso of truth and Professor X can telepathically control the minds of many. But one of the most impressive superpowers of all, at least in the business world, is something we can all access – the power of connecting others.

I’m talking about the “super connectors” here, highly connected individuals who thrive at bringing a diversity of people together to promote professional success and personal development. The phrase was coined by networking expert Keith Ferrazzi, author of Never Eat Alone. As Ferrazzi noted, these individuals go beyond traditional networking, fostering relationships that benefit others, build community, and create opportunities.

When you think of a super connector, people like Oprah Winfrey, LinkedIn Co-founder Reid Hoffman or entrepreneur Gary Vaynerchuk might pop into your mind. But chances are good you have a couple of people in your network today who truly delight in helping others make positive connections and as a result, build their own influence. You may even be one yourself.

Rewards of Helping Others Succeed

The benefits of super connecting are tremendous. According to this recent Wall Street Journal article called The Generosity Power Move That Can Boost Your Career, connectors are more likely to get promoted and win bigger bonuses. Brian Uzzi, a professor at Northwestern’s Kellogg School of Management, mentioned a study of M.B.A. students who acted as brokers between cliques, noting they were twice as likely to get the best job offers upon graduating.

In his book Give and Take, best-selling author Adam Grant notes that “givers” – people who prioritize others’ needs, support, and development – are often the most successful in the long term. His research has shown that generous, collaborative individuals have better relationships, stronger performance at work and greater well-being and satisfaction.

It just makes sense, right? Being the person who actively helps others also creates top-of-mind awareness when connections have a new opportunity right up your alley. It can mean the difference in getting selected for that promotion, new job, big sales contract and much more.

Real Advice from Super Connectors

I spoke to two terrific super connectors, Sheri Jacobs and Darrah Brustein, to learn more about their journeys and tips that can help you become a better connector.

Sheri Jacobs, FASAE, CAE is an innovation and growth expert with a unique ability to spark creativity and accelerate organizational growth. From what I can tell, Jacobs is one heck of a cheerleader connector for the professional association world and just about everyone who crosses her path.

She serves as the CEO of Avenue M Group, which has helped more than 300 associations achieve their goals through market research, financial modeling, and strategy. A popular keynote speaker and the best-selling author of Pivot Point: Reshaping Your Business When It Matters Most, Jacobs has over 20 years of association management experience.

For Jacobs, the urge to connect others started at a young age. She’s the friend who organizes gatherings and reunions, even back in high school. Professionally, an early career role as a chief membership officer developed those innate connecting skills even further.

“Connecting people brings me joy and satisfaction,” explains Jacobs. “It has become an intrinsic part of my life. I’m not looking for anything in return; my motivation is simply to help others whenever possible.”

Darrah Brustein also feels a sense of joy in helping others. A coach for entrepreneurs and executives, the seasoned entrepreneur draws upon her experience of starting and selling her own companies for 15 years.  Her work focuses on connecting people in ways that lead to powerful and mutually beneficial relationships.

From childhood, Brustein has viewed the world as a puzzle in which to seek connections between people and ideas. She is a “giver” who naturally enjoys bringing people together. That skill has served her well throughout her career and coaching practice.

Brustein has had the opportunity to collaborate with icons like Deepak Chopra, Shaq, Seth Godin, Bobbi Brown, Jillian Michaels, Adam Grant, Robert Herjavec and businesses including Chase, Toyota, and Visa. A contributing writer for Forbes and Inc., Brustein has shared her work at the World Economic Forum’s annual meeting at Davos.

“I’ve always naturally connected people, both in business and personally,” said Brustein. “For me, people ‘matchmaking’ involves connecting the dots and recognizing when different elements or individuals could come together to create something greater than the sum of their parts.”

5 Ways to Build Your Super Connector Skills

Interested in developing your super connector skills? Check out these five tips to hone your capabilities:

1.        Be present. You know how we are all trying to juggle a dozen things at once, dictating texts in your car while toggling back and forth between two podcasts and GPS? That’s not doing you any favors. Brustein recommends developing a higher level of awareness by slowing down and being genuinely present in conversations. Doing so helps you better identify opportunities to offer support.

2.        Jettison expectations. Rather than pay it forward with the expectation they’ll be some reward ahead, Jacobs advises sharing ideas and recommendations without expectations. Brustein agrees. She emphasized the importance of sincerity and building rapport rather than connecting solely with an expectation of reciprocation.

3.        Proactively support others. Think about how you can offer support before being asked. Most mornings, Jacobs jumps onto LinkedIn to see if she can connect people professionally. She also encourages people to act on their connections, rather than second-guessing if it’s appropriate to share.

4.        Adopt micro-moments of connection. Grant advocates practicing something he calls “5-Minute Favors.” The practice involves small, quick actions like making an introduction or offering brief advice, which can be helpful to others without taking much of your own time. Brustein, who identifies strongly with the giver mindset, does this consistently by scheduling regular check-ins with contacts, staying in touch through thoughtful messages, and tracking meaningful dates and moments in others’ lives.

5.        Be specific when seeking help. At some point, we are all going to ask for help. Jacobs emphasized the importance of being specific about one’s needs when seeking assistance and also understanding what you can give to others. She noted that everyone plays both roles—helper and seeker—and understanding that can make connecting smoother and more meaningful.

How has helping others ultimately helped you at work or at home? Do you have a super connector you’d like to recognize for making a positive difference?