Community is essential to wellbeing: Here is how you can start building yours now
How to Find Your People
Have to admit that I was giddy with excitement recently. Why? Well, it wasn’t because I was meeting Taylor Swift, traveling somewhere else on my Bucket List, or discovering the secret to time travel (although I’d be delighted with all three, obviously).
What got me so jazzed was sitting around a conference table in New York with about 25 other senior communications executives during a meeting of the Forum Group, LLC. We talked about what kept us up at night, listened to presenters from the Wall Street Journal, learned more about upcoming AI trends in corporate communications, and gave each other great advice.
Now I’ve been a member of other professional associations for public relations and communications over the years, and they served me so well at the time. But for who I am now—a Chief Communications Officer who is also a keynote speaker and author—this is the perfect fit. I feel seen, understood and inter-connected, and it has been wonderful.
Which brings me to today’s topic—how to find your people, for who you are today.
Community is Essential
You’ve seen it in movies: the lone hero riding into the sunset, the solitary detective chasing justice, or the brooding superhero saving the world from an underground cave. While these characters are intriguing, they often overlook a fundamental truth: we thrive when connected to others. Even the Incredible Hulk found better anger management when teaming up with the Avengers.
In our real lives, the importance of community—those like-minded souls who support and challenge us—is paramount. Whether it’s your “tribe,” inner circle, or chosen family, these relationships are critical for personal and professional growth.
What I want to highlight is that as you shift and change, what constitutes “your people” will too. And that’s perfectly normal.
A study of social networks conducted by sociologist Gerald Mollenhorst at the Netherlands Organization for Scientific Research found that we replace about half our friendships every seven years. Sometimes that’s by choice and other times, it isn’t. Your best friend at work leaves for another company. All of your “birds of a feather” from grad school focus on climbing the corporate ladder, while what lights you up now in your thirties or forties is non-profit work.
If you feel that there’s no one to talk about what excites you the most these days, that’s a sign you need to find more people who are kindred spirits. Professionally I’ve got the Forum Group, LLC for communications and Impact Eleven for keynote speaking. Fitness is a personal passion, and I’ve been in a private Facebook group that focuses on movement and well-being, off and on, for nearly six years. Plus, I’m lucky enough to regularly meet and connect with others who are interested in making a positive impact on the world.
The Power of the Right People
Sometimes, the right people are there all along.
Maybe that friend you made when your kids were in pre-school together 20 years ago is now a trusted advisor to with whom you enjoy discussing career strategies. A close friend from high school, Dr. Ken Carter, served as a mentor and major source of support to me when I was writing my book a couple of years ago. Lifelong friends can change and evolve just as you do, and it’s fantastic when you have a decades-long shorthand already established.
Ways to Find Your People
Here are a few tips to find your people for who you are today:
- Know yourself. Being in touch with who you authentically are now is key. What excites and motivates you? How would you describe yourself to others?
- Be clear about your needs. What do you want to learn more about? What kind of help do you need, and/or would like to offer to others?
- Make a list of professional and personal groups that strike a chord. The places where you can be seen and connect as your true self are the desired destination.
- Actively cultivate friendships. When you meet someone delightful, make the effort to get to know them better. Book lunch or a video call. When I have a great conversation with someone, I make sure we have future plans to chat and look forward to connecting them with others.
Who are your people as you are today? How did you find them and cultivate those relationships?